A Full Pantry

When I was a kid I would help my grandmother plant and maintain her 3 acre garden. I remember dropping a fish  and a seed potato into hole after hole as we mounded what seemed like a hundred potato plants. My grandmother believed in a full pantry and would can and freeze her garden produce endlessly so that her storage areas were full to bursting.

My father, like his mother, also believed in a lot of food on hand. Perhaps it was partly due to being a child of the great depression, but he would buy canned food by the caselot, his beef by the full cow and he would ensure that our 21 foot freezer was never empty.

The seed has not fallen far from the tree. I too fill my cupboards. I ensure that my family has an seemingly endless array of food available to us, and the choice of dozens of meals waiting in our freezer.

So as we brought home our small box of groceries I was struck by the absurdity of having to set aside these few provisions in a special place so they were not lost in the wide array of other foodstuffs filling our kitchen. I was also struck by my begrudging spirit as suddenly we were limited to so few meal options. My joy in making and planning meals, in the simple act of creative cooking, was suddenly brought up short.

Perhaps this has been our lesson this week. The recognition that worry and concern about food is a burden that too many bear. When we brought home our food hamper we talked about how it was starch heavy and lacked protein or fresh veggies. But as we survived on these items for a few days, the worry was not so much about quality as quantity. It was not about too little meat, and more about simply....will their be enough?

These days of living on a food hamper has been an important exercise for us. It has given us reason to reflect on the abundance in our lives, the choices we have around,not only food, but all the opportunities available to us.

Thanks for the chance.

And Finally......Acceptance

The last couple of days have been much better.  Having aired my feelings of frustration, isolation, and stress has made the difference for me. I realize I got a very small taste of what it is like to be on "survival mode" and have a deeper appreciation of those that are going through this.  Once I aired my feelings and realized that I was so used to having whatever I wanted I could relax and concentrate on the moment. What do I have now....not what would I like.  And I could hear my grandmother as she  always told me, "Be thankful for what you have." I now  have  feelings of peace and acceptance. So the last couple of days have been much easier.

It emphasizes to me how important it is to have these opportunties to say exactly how you feel no matter what.  Just to lay it on the line and say whatever you need to say.  I believe we need to make opportunties for the clients, if they wish,  to air out some of their feelings.

As I have been able to reflect more on my feelings of thanksgiving, I think of all the people that donate to the food bank and for the many volunteers that donate their time and treat all of the clients with dignity and respect. I give thanks, for you support so many with your jesters of kindness and love. Maniy blessings to you and thank you for the opportunity to take part in this challenge.

On Monday I spent my last $2 on a litre of milk.  Normally I wouldn't think twice about it. If I need milk I get it. How simple that sounds but there were a number of other things I wanted with that $2, like cottage cheese, a couple of bananas, more carrots or fruit, chocolate... Milk won out.  I used some to make up my tomato soup so I could take it with me for lunch with cheese and crackers and my last orange.  Not bad all in all. It was also useful in my kraft dinner for supper. I still have one carrot and an apple.  They will be my lunch treats tomorrow. 
Today was a very busy day and I didn't have time to figure out my lunch this morning, so after an egg and toast for breakfast, it was water until I could get home.  I took the edge off with the last of my crackers and peanut butter.  Then fried potatoes and another egg, the last of the brown beans and toast to finish up the day. 
As I think about the high carbs and few fruits and vegetables it is really easy to see why in the Health Regions Dispairity Report they found that people living in low income neighborhoods are 398% more likely to suffer from diabetes and 134% more likely to contract heart disease.

Getting Hungry

Up until tonight things were going pretty good, had a good pot of soup that lasted until noon today, had an ok supper of fried potatoes, couple of eggs and a bit of tasty "Flakes of Ham". But tonight I am hungry, I'm use to a snack when watching hockey, I'm just tired of not being able to have a handful of something if I want it. I still have a bit of bread, Mr. Noodles, KD, a can of beans, a carrot, one orange, one apple, oatmeal, 4 eggs and a few crackers left so I won't starve but the meals the rest in my house are eating look a fair bit better. At least I know this soon will be over, hope I lose a pound or two as a side benefit!

Giving Thanks...

When I was growing up we were taught a simple table grace,

"God is great, God is good,
Let us thank God for this food,
by His hand we all are fed,
thank you God for daily bread."

As a child, we would race through this prayer on our way to gulping down our milk and stuffing ourselves full with food.  As I've grown older, I've thought more about this table grace.  As I said it this morning I was really struck by the words.  Over the past few days I have not really been thankful for the food that I have.  I've spoken with other participants and I've heard stories of struggle, or complaint, uncomfortableness, and even trying to figure out how to 'cheat' and still participate.  None of this reflects an attitude of gratitude.  Truly, most of us are looking at this challenge as a struggle, and we're not thankful for the food we have.

During the season of Lent (the 40 days that precede Easter) I choose to fast from all food for 24 hours.  In that time of emptiness, I struggled with hunger.  My stomach gurgled, groaned and growled.  I found myself looking forward to my next meal with the eagerness only a 4 year old could muster.  That was a struggle.  While I enjoyed my bowl of oatmeal this morning, I noticed  how grateful I was for the food that I had both in the course of a normal week, but also for this week.  I have had something for every meal, and I have even had enough to snack.  In fact, most meals I prepare come with a side of leftovers.  I have made most meals stretch for two.  This morning I finished off my bag of oatmeal, but it did see me through 3 days!  My box of Kraft Dinner was 2 meals, and after 4 suppers with rice I still have some left for one more meal!

Granted there's still a few days left, but I am not going to starve over the next few days, and I will eat rather well.  I will be content and satisfied.  Do I have complaints? Yes.  Am I full after each meal? Not entirely, but that's probably not a bad thing.

I certainly wouldn't eat this way normally, I have been carefully rationing my grains, and I haven't eaten as much fruit and vegetables that I normally would and I am really missing some of my more indulgent snack foods, pretzels, chips and popcorn.  I am uncomfortable, but I am not starving.  I am hungry at each meal, I haven't slept as well as I am used to, and my concentration and energy levels aren't what they usually are, but I am getting by.

Last Mr. Noodles lunch

 The other thing that I have come to appreciate is how well equipped my kitchen is.  It never occurred to me earlier, but if your cooking knowledge and resources are limited, your meals are also going to be limited.  I recognize this as a sign of my privilege.  Most of my early meals were very simple, boil water, add stir and eat.  My suppers were a different story.  For my first evening, I looked at what I had and noticed that I had every thing I needed to make a fried rice dish.

So what can yo make with an onion, rice, egg, canned peas & carrots, some chicken bouillon and soya sauce?

I cooked the rice with chicken bouillon so it would absorb the flavour, meanwhile sautéed the onion.  I scrambled the egg, and once the rice was done I mixed it all together with some soya sauce and the canned vegetables.

...why Food Bank Fried Rice of course...

 It wasn't the most amazing thing that I had ever made, but it was filling and it fed me for 2 meals!

The other supper that I made has impressed on me my own privilege.  I made a slow cooker lentil and ham soup.  It didn't occur to me right away but most clients at the food bank probably don't have a slow cooker at home, and yet this was perhaps one of the easiest and most abundant meals for me to prepare.  I simply chopped a carrot, an onion and my tomato.  Added a cup of lentils, my tin of ham, and then 7 cups of water and an assortment of spices from my cupboard.

And this here...

...is a lentil, and ham soup, I expect to get 3 meals out of this!

Serving this over rice made for a very satisfying and fibre filled supper.  I probably will make this again, and I have enough left overs for 3 meals!  

I have eaten pretty well with the items given to me.  Part of this is from the knowledge and creativity that I have in the kitchen, and some is because I have the tools that enable me to cook in these ways.  Not everyone has either or both of these.  This realization is another dimension to the poverty and hunger 'problem.'  One that doesn't present itself with an easy solution, one that I'm not sure I know how to engage.  

So how does one humbly give thanks, recognizing that not all enjoy such bounty?

-C

It is official

It is official.....the novelty has definitely worn off.  I find myself thinking about food all the time and as my food supply gets less and less it causes me stress.  It  makes me wonder if I will be able to make the food  especially the protein least until Thursday.  However,  I went to the grocery store today to buy my hotdog but found out they don't sell them in bulk anymore.  I did find a package of shaved roast beef on sale...today only....for $.50.  That was my highlight.

I can only imagine how the clients feel having to depend on the food bank to survive.  As a mother and grandmother,  I can't imagine how it would feel to try and feed your kids/grandkids or the stress it might cause.

I am also affected by the social aspect of eating.  I am quite extroverted and being around people is important to me.  I often go for coffee or for a meal with friends and this week I haven't been able to do that.  I feel isolated.  I wonder how many clients feel as I do.

On a more positive note,  I am very thankful for the folks that support the food bank either by bringing in food items or cash.  These kind folks are supporting me for the week and I thank God for them.  Another example of loving your neighbour as yourself.

Day 3

It is crazy how much I am thinking about food.  I woke up in the night and started to wonder about what I would have for lunch toda.  Nothing is very portable to pack so I decided to go home and make a grilled cheese sandwich and I had one of my precious carrots which was wonderful. Because I have to be in the city for work tomorrow, I believe I will make up my tomato soup tonite so I can take it with me to heat.

For those who don't know me I work for the Saskatoon Health Region in the Health Promotion Department. A key project we have supported is the Cost of Poverty campaign launched in March. 

We know that poverty costs everyone.  In 2010, in Saskatchewan the estimated the cost of poverty was $3.8 billion. That includes:

• $420 million in heightened healthcare costs.
• Between $50 and $120 million more than we would otherwise spend on our criminal justice system.
• Upwards of $2 billion annually in missed opportunities and forgone contributions to GDP and taxes cover more than two-thirds of the overall province-wide cost of poverty.

Saskatchewan is one of only 2 provinces that does not have a Comprehensive Poverty Reduction Strategy. If you are interested in encouraging the government to create one or for more information you can go to: povertycosts.ca

Enough calories to think straight?

I was "starving" last evening after our 3K run that we often do before supper.  Lightheaded.

I thought I had had a big lunch with rice, peas and carrots, and half of my "Flakes of Ham" (groan - the dreaded Flakes of Ham!) and felt quite full. Then half an orange at 4 pm.

But when I came in from the run, I headed straight for the crackers. Thank goodness for crackers.  I quickly ate four of those precious saltines as an appetizer before my supper bowl of lentil soup, a boiled egg and three (count them), three pieces of toast!  I rarely eat toast - too many carbs!

I've been keeping a food diary on an app I have and it has calculated daily calories.  For my height and weight I am "allowed" 1800 calories a day.  On Saturday I had 1200 calories and on Sunday, 1500.  If I decide to exercise, I am in a deficit.  Hey, that's good for me and possible weight loss!  But what about people in poverty like Food Bank clients who need to do physical work for a living or think straight in school or at home - to plan, to study, to apply for jobs?  While living on what is left (or not left) in the cupboard or fridge?  Hungry and lightheaded?

Note to self:  do not judge others until you have walked in their shoes.  And this, for me, is only a five day mini walk in the park.  I will return to my world of plenty after Thursday. Some don't have that luxury.

Tonight I start the first of three consecutive 12 hour night shifts at the Group Home where I work. We'll see how that goes!  One thing I do know for certain...my crackers are going with me.

Day 2 - toast, soup and shopping....umh many lessons

Hello to all, I finally have the hang of blogging so here we go with Day Two!

I got up in the morning and decided I would have an orange and two pieces of toast.  I'm not a very fussy eater but there are two things I really don't like.....liver and burnt toast.  You quessed it...I burnt the toast.  Well, I had three choices: throw the toast out, give it to the birds or eat the burnt toast.  I realized my decision could have consequences to my week.  Throwing the toast out was really not an option ....that is just too wasteful. Giving it to the birds was an feasible option but I decided to eat the burnt toast.  I seem to be more thankful when I have very little than when I have more than I really need.   Lesson One!  Now what is wrong with this picture.

After breakfast I decided to make lentil soup.  I looked up the recipe, put in my lentils, one onion, 1/4 cup of chopped carrots, my one tomato, water and spices.  I didn't have the other  ingredients so they didn't get in the soup.  I let it cook and it wasn't too bad....a little bland but not bad.  Then I had an idea!  I put my one can of vegetable soup in the mixture and oh my goodness...it was delicious.
Lesson Two:  I am learning how much I love cooking but how very difficult it is with such a limited resource of food.  Also I really miss the social aspect of eating!!

After the soup was cooked I went shopping with my $5.  I was very excited about this and with the $5 I bought the smallest container of milk and the smallest jar of peanut butter.  I spent $4.10 and was very happy I had $.90 left.  I hope to go and buy one hotdog  with the left over money for my pork and beans..
Lesson Three:  I was so surprised of how excited I  was being able to get a few more items for my week long hamper.  I think I am becoming more and more aware of how difficult it is for folks to live on so little.  This is all very fine for a week but what if that was how you lived each day!

That's a small box for a family....

I am a fan of food. I like to cook, I like to eat, and my family and I talk often about the next great recipe that we are excited to try out. So when we were approached to consider living off a food hamper the idea was not greeted with a lot of enthusiasm. As we reviewed the list of food commonly given out in a hamper we recognized that it was a lot of starch, little protein and few veggies. Not exactly our usual fare. My kids were concerned about the impact of the diet on their ability to concentrate. Anita, who does not eat carbs after 2:00 most days was wondering what she would eat, and how she would feel.

Yet as we discussed the idea more fully, we warmed to it a bit as we considered the impact of mindful eating on our own consciousness,  and we realized that we looked forward to the awareness and conversation that we hoped  a few days of this kind of menu would stimulate. So we agreed to give it a try.

When we picked up the hamper (see picture) we were also told we could spend $10 on anything else we needed. We chose to buy some yogurt, milk and a small pack of pork - total value $9.84. We have talked a bit about the week and tried to do a bit of menu planning to use the resources we have received to the best of our ability.

Supper tonight is veggie soup with noodles and a bit of pork with orange slices for dessert.

Wish us luck!

Cam

Our hamper for the week. ..Hope it lasts!